Round Peg/Square Hole Relationships

Ever since the phrase, “round peg into a square hole” originated in the early 1800’s, this metaphor has often been used to characterize the incompatibility of two distinctly different people in a relationship. After all, what could be more unworkable than trying to force a solid round peg of a person into a solid square hole of a person, neither of which are flexible.

     Aha! I exclaim. What if the metaphor allows for the round peg of a person and the square hole of a person to be a little flexible around their edges?

     Voila, we have compatibility, don’t we?

"Give and take" is another phrase associated with mutual reciprocity, where two people in a relationship contribute and receive, making compromise that molds the relationship so the relationship as a whole benefits.

Instead of having a "tug of war", another phrase that describes the struggles found in many relationships, there is a balance leading to healthy connections. Instead of resentment and trying to outdo each other, there is an emotional fulfilment.

And, of course, there is the golden rule about doing unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Regardless of the type of relationship you are in, the Bible is clear in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 about the foundation on which your relationships should rest.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth^. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

In Proverbs 15:1, we are told that a gentle answer deflects anger. Other scriptures, like Galatians 6:2, encourage sharing each other's burdens, while 1 Thessalonians 5:11 calls believers to encourage one another and build each other up.

So, whether you are the "round peg" or the "square hole", remember the key to fitting nicely in a relationship and having a healthy emotional and spiritual connection, is to be flexible enough to not be a burden, but to bear one another's burden in a love that is "not self-seeking;" one that is sacrificial.

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13)

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting that you are going to get---only with what you are expecting to give---which is everything." Katherine Hepburn